This Is:

One Small Step For Sara, One Giant Leap In Progression.

Titty Bitty Recovery Buddy <3

Yesterdays Random Act Of Extream Kindness, Not Only Truely Touched My Heart, But Kept Me Up Most The Night Really Putting Tought Into What Qualifyed As "Too Far Gone." Or "Sick Enough." I'm still not sure if I'd fit in a recovery group.. To be honest I'd be too scared to go.. As Still As It Sounds, The Same One Line Kept Going Through My Head All Night, Just When I'd Be Close To Giving In And Emailing Her, That Darkness Crept Back And Nudeged Me: "What If The Other Members Are Thinner Then Me.."

And This Little Thought More Then Bothered Me. I Truely Dont See Myself As 'Ill', and that others do deserve this oppertuity more then I do. But, on the other hand, I'm greatful to have this little business card in my wallet now. A Few Months Ago I Would Have Dailed Her Number The Second Lauren Left. Even though it was after office hours, very late in the after noon. Simply Just To Leave A Message For Her To Find The Morning After, Just To Realse All The Pressure Off Of Me.

But I'm not in that same dark place anymore. I know fully well, that I've made wrong choices in the past, and overall stuiped ones. But Unlike Many Others, I've Learned. And I'm Truely Trying To Better Myself Away From Certain Tendacies.

24 days from now, marks a whole year since I've joined PT. And if my timeline isnt mistaken, It also marks the first purge, two and a half years ago. Its a scary thought knowing that for longer then I've been aware I've been treating my self this way. I just hope that in becoming more aware I can fix this all..

Thanks to a friend whom is heading her way through recovery, (You Can Find Her Blog, And Follow Her Jorney Here: http://therawveganjourney.blogspot.com/ ) I found this link: http://www.recoverybuddies.blogspot.com/ Even though I'm still on the fence about it all, I've sent out for one.. I've also started this: http://running.about.com/c/ec/10.htm Mostly In Hopes To Become Active And Healthy.

My Question For You All:

At What Point Has 'Sick', Become 'Too Sick' ? ..