Subtitled Movies And Beer.

I'm going to miss Tyler, and well, that's the truth.

Besides being here when I get home from work, he is a comic relief from life over all. And I'd like to say a friend. One of my few friends, and I know it's for only for three months.. but it'll feel like a while.

I can only hope he'll come back.

Four lines in.

Feeling great. Gosh, I've missed coke.

Waited around like a dork from 4:10 till 5:30 and then FINALLY >< Ah blah.. I've got it, and man its great.

On another note.. I'm feeling better.. Hmm wonder if it's got anything to do with.. Hmm.. Nah..

Work wasn't too bad today, no crazy customers, food intake was alright, a tad too much, but all good. Gym when alright, always could stay longer, but man I needed my fix. 

I miss naya. There I said it.. She's my bestest friend, and well I miss her like mad.. I wish I could talk to her more often, or be there.. She really means alot to me, and it blows I can't be there more..

Off to do another line. Wish I could be skinny. Wish I could be more then this sad person I've turned into..

Bacon&Bacon&Ponies

Bacon Strips Makes Everything 20 Percent Better.

Went down to the States today, and well, a photograph speaks a thousand words. I'm a brony and damn well proud. My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, has made the darkest days so much more bearable.. And really is an inspirational show. Besides bringing me back to drawing, its brought me closer to my best friend, and made me really slow down and think hard about myself, and just what makes me special. 

Did a line or two of MDMA last night after a horrid trip to the "lake" .. Ho Hum.. Fought with Yannic, more like bickering mind you, but either way, we've never gotten that mad.. rather.. I've never freaked like that before. I know my medication isn't helping like it should, but I know it was the other drugs playing with me.. I couldn't get ahold of my coke yesterday, or today, and I really want some. Yannic's asked me to slow down on drinking, and I told him it's not the drinking.. and well.. he had more questions.. None I Was Willing To Answer Mind You.

A line and a bit of MDMA. I hate myself.

The urge to die was so overwhelming this morning and last night. Just as much as it will be tonight and well till it all end. 

Drink, Drank, High

Six, Five, Seven Lines? I've Lost Count. I'm Drunk. I hate Myself.


So... well.. I've spilled the beans to Yannic, and well, he took it pretty well. Either way. I'm high, and took all my Coke. No coke. Just beer. Need coke. No coke. I am alone. So alone. Help drunk Alice..


She's fall'n, knows better, but fell so long ago, and doesn't know much better.

Either way, there is pain killers and beer tomorrow. maybe drugs. always drugs.

nee drugs.

"Smile Smile Smile"

"Oh bother, seems I've come down with the worse case of 'long weekend fever' seems I'll have to take tomorrow off."

The bike is all done! I've painted it equestrian brown, and watermelon pink! Yeah, a basket, speedometer, a new seat, and to top it all off, pink tassells. It's a tad more then awesome :3

After a tad of a stressful evening, I went ahead and cut.. just a few scrapes mind you, but they sting and I more then deserve them.

I wish I had friends.

Two lines. More to come.

Derp-Derp-Derpy Hooves

I haven't been sober in a week or so. It's not enough. But then again, nothing ever is.

Since my last post, *deep inhale..* I've finished all my school work, got two new tattoo's, moved in to a house, destroyed two bikes, bought a new one, destroyed that with paint.. *whew* Yeah, I know I should be updating more.. but I really have been all over the place, never in a good way.. 

I've done four lines today.

Three yesterday. 

And two on Wednesday.

I can't handle all this. I'm not sure if drugs will make it better, but it can't be worse then how it is now. 

I know I'm all over the place because of my medication. But I'm snapping like crazy at Yannic, when he is being noting but helpful and calm with me. 

I don't know how to handle any of this. 

I don't want this medication. I don't even remember what it feels like with out it. 

Why am I going crazy? 

My life isn't so bad, it's going really well as of late in fact. 

Why can't I be happy?