Drags On. Forever.
Yannic's on his way over to help me get started at least. I'm not sure what all to tell him when he gets here. Besides that I'm a stuipd lazy girl. Woo..
I'm really sick of this all.
On the brighter side, if you can call it that.. Zoloft isn't going as smoothly as I'd like it to be. I know the side effects list "suicidal thoughts" but its one thing to read it then being faced with them.
6/20/11
6/17/11
As "thoughts of a MONSTER" had posted:
When losing weight is your passion
And starving means control
You know you have a problem
Or at least that's what you're told
When you look at thinspiration
And that's all you want to be
You tell yourself you will do anything
To be like the girls you see
Checking out pro-ana sites
To find an Ana friend
Trying out the tips and tricks
Losing weight is the latest trend
Starving for perfection
Doing anything to be thin
Want to see the bones
Maybe that'll make you love yourself again
But deep down you know you're lying
You know it'll only make things worse
But you just can't give it up
"Hunger hurts but starving works"
The pounds may drop
But you'll still feel just as fat
You'll still hate the reflection in the mirror
You'll see a body covered in fat
Everyone around you
Will notice how sick you are
But you'll deny you have a problem
You haven't taken it too far
Killing yourself slowly
A prolonged suicide
Sometimes you wish it would kill you
It's better than living with the monster that's inside
You know that you are miserable
Living with the voice inside your head
You also know that if you're not careful
You'll go too far and you'll be dead
But a part of you doesn't care
And that's what scares you most
Not caring if you die
For a body you can't boast
You know there's only one way
To make yourself feel good
Recovery will make it better
If you were stronger than you would
You have the strength within you
Even though you disagree
You have everything it takes
To make it through recovery
So take it step by step
And take it one bite at a time
One day you'll be free
From that monster in your mind
It'll take hard work
But it's worth it in the end
Recovery will save you
Recovery will help you mend
So don't give up your life
For an unattainable goal
Choose to recover
And you'll truly have control
Life will get better
If you stay on recovery's path
No it won't be easy
Yes you will have a lapse
But everyone has setbacks
You just have to get up and start again
You can do it
Happiness is just around the bend
And starving means control
You know you have a problem
Or at least that's what you're told
When you look at thinspiration
And that's all you want to be
You tell yourself you will do anything
To be like the girls you see
Checking out pro-ana sites
To find an Ana friend
Trying out the tips and tricks
Losing weight is the latest trend
Starving for perfection
Doing anything to be thin
Want to see the bones
Maybe that'll make you love yourself again
But deep down you know you're lying
You know it'll only make things worse
But you just can't give it up
"Hunger hurts but starving works"
The pounds may drop
But you'll still feel just as fat
You'll still hate the reflection in the mirror
You'll see a body covered in fat
Everyone around you
Will notice how sick you are
But you'll deny you have a problem
You haven't taken it too far
Killing yourself slowly
A prolonged suicide
Sometimes you wish it would kill you
It's better than living with the monster that's inside
You know that you are miserable
Living with the voice inside your head
You also know that if you're not careful
You'll go too far and you'll be dead
But a part of you doesn't care
And that's what scares you most
Not caring if you die
For a body you can't boast
You know there's only one way
To make yourself feel good
Recovery will make it better
If you were stronger than you would
You have the strength within you
Even though you disagree
You have everything it takes
To make it through recovery
So take it step by step
And take it one bite at a time
One day you'll be free
From that monster in your mind
It'll take hard work
But it's worth it in the end
Recovery will save you
Recovery will help you mend
So don't give up your life
For an unattainable goal
Choose to recover
And you'll truly have control
Life will get better
If you stay on recovery's path
No it won't be easy
Yes you will have a lapse
But everyone has setbacks
You just have to get up and start again
You can do it
Happiness is just around the bend
Like so
(Wrap your arms around me)
Bcit? Vcad?
Yeah.. I dunno.
Hit 121 today. Six lbs in two weeks (y)
I've really made no progress with English work... Blah blah I know.
It's been a year since I've left school. I'm a year behind.
I'm worried that graphic desgin isn't my fortay.. Worried I'm chaseing this dream casue I've never sot anything else.. I'm lacking strong stuits that's for sure..
I just want this to be over.
I'm done.
Tapping out.
Bcit? Vcad?
Yeah.. I dunno.
Hit 121 today. Six lbs in two weeks (y)
I've really made no progress with English work... Blah blah I know.
It's been a year since I've left school. I'm a year behind.
I'm worried that graphic desgin isn't my fortay.. Worried I'm chaseing this dream casue I've never sot anything else.. I'm lacking strong stuits that's for sure..
I just want this to be over.
I'm done.
Tapping out.
What a beautiful mess this is
Its like picking up trash in dresses.
I can see many groups of teens, dressed in formal attire, from my seat in the library.
Gotta love regrets.
I wish I went to prom.
I can recall three or four years ago, attempting to explain the importance of prom to evan, and how he'd miss out on so much not going.
Don't get me wrong, I don't miss high school.
Just miss all the important milestones is all.
I can see many groups of teens, dressed in formal attire, from my seat in the library.
Gotta love regrets.
I wish I went to prom.
I can recall three or four years ago, attempting to explain the importance of prom to evan, and how he'd miss out on so much not going.
Don't get me wrong, I don't miss high school.
Just miss all the important milestones is all.
6/9/11
Dearest andrew;
In two years time, I'll make it, I really will. I'll take your advice, and make it to the top.
"Find the person wearing a suit, only cause they have to :) "
"Find the person wearing a suit, only cause they have to :) "
To be honest..
I now know which gender I am,
but I still long to hide in the safety net of baggy clothes and a binded chest.
but I still long to hide in the safety net of baggy clothes and a binded chest.
6/1/11
Wide open..
I've done it! I've finally found directrix's in Canada :O
*Cue chorus of angles*
Yeah I know, waggle your finger all you wish..
They were cheap water pills and well, it's worth a try.
OH! I've started art journalling!
Once I get a few more pages done, I'll scan em to blogger and let you see what I've been up to!
Which includes flaming cupcakes and jetpacks on godzillas.
Yeah, That Awesome.
Think Thin Tiny Loves <3
*Cue chorus of angles*
Yeah I know, waggle your finger all you wish..
They were cheap water pills and well, it's worth a try.
OH! I've started art journalling!
Once I get a few more pages done, I'll scan em to blogger and let you see what I've been up to!
Which includes flaming cupcakes and jetpacks on godzillas.
Yeah, That Awesome.
Think Thin Tiny Loves <3
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
