I Need A Hug..

I'm Scared. I don't think I'm ready.. I broke down at the front desk, in-between sobs saying I Don't Think I'm Ready Yet. But I've purchased the first half.. I've got the vitamins.. The journal, pedometer, and the first meal plans.. I'm scared.. I don't want to waste this money. But I Don't Want To Waste This Life. I deleted all my book marked Ed's sites, and fitness trackers, I've deleted all my diet and plans in my documents. I'm contemplating burning my calorie journal. of which I've used an tracked for almost a year now.. I've even left a note on my PT account, and I'm sitting here shaking. No.. I didn't tell them I was suffering from Bulimia.. And I know I'll have to tell the one lady once I start. But I really want to do this.. 

I'm just damn sure I'm going about this in all the wrong ways.

But I know that they can show me how to eat properly, I know they can show me how to love myself. 

I know normality is possible. 

And They Even Said, I Don't Have To Start Right Away.. 

When ever I'm ready she said. When ever you feel you can do this. I'm here.

Someone.. please tell me it'll be okay.. 

..I'm just scared it'll be a waste of time..