Long Time No Blog?

Internet was down for the longest time, I guess thats what you get when you rely on stolen wifi. heh.

I'm not sure to even start, alot has happened since the last update, and my thoughts are still swimming. I'll start with todays events. From which I'm still shaken. at 4 this afternoon, my best friends mother went in to cardiac arrest, and was not able to be resuscitated. She passed, and everything is shaken. I know I was never fond of her, as I was the butt of her jokes, and often picked on. But she was my mothers best friend, and she took the news rather hard. I had found out during my shift, and the last three hours I was on auto pilot, I didn't know what to do, I didn't know how to help. Naya is more then shaken, well it was her mother, and I want nothing more then to rewind to this morning when we were complaining about baby sitting, when everything was okay. Feels like there is a gap in normality right now.. I just hope I can help.

Along with the weight of that, I've an art school interview Wednesday, and a job interview Thursday. I do hope both go well, I can't wait to get out of here. As for moving, yannic moves in to the club house come april 1st. Yeah, I'm worried. I mean its a house of senanigans, when they generate and bloom. I know there will be drinking and parties. I just, I hope it all will be okay.

I'm going for my knowledge test soon, and will have my passport things done this weekend. And well, I'll be nine teen at the end of the month. I'm still in one spot. That worries me.

The other day there was a little thing that really got at me, it was all harmless I know, but it still sticks with me. I had asked yannic a math question, and he scoffs and asks me like I should know, (okay, I should know..) And well I don't, I tell him this, and he asks again. I never had anyone sit with me to teach me maths, I never had someone to sit with me and teach me spelling. I don't feel on par with his smarts.. And I know what he said is true, I'm smart where he isn't as he is where I'm not. But I still crave to feel at least on par. I'm years behind, in smarts, in life. I feel like I'm a drag for him. I don't wanna be the couple that eats in silence at restronts. I'd like to be able to talk about things he likes, and enjoys. And I havn't a clue where to start..