GrumbleGrumble.

Last Pill. They Are Gone.

The week went okay, under 600 each day. Till yesterday and Sunday. 1200 + 1000.. Gah. I fail. I'm huge. Wine wine wine.. Blah.. okay. Back on track today, I hope. Birthday is in a week, and I'm not sure I want to be 19.. Its a scary though. Where did my year 18 go? It was gone so fast.. I got a new phone yesterday, its a HUGE step down from my BB, but hey, it works. And I'll be able to update blogger via hotmail from my phone so its a plus. The PT mobile site however.. doesn't work.. which BLOWS! I got a parcel in the mail yesterday, I've yet to pick it up, but i know just what it is :) Its the bracelets I've been waiting for :D

So.. Friday. The BIG day. I'm going to weigh myself, for the frist time in a little over a month. At the doctors office one month ago, (with shoes clothes a sweater belt and breakfast in me) I was 130. (LIES!) so i was most likely 125 ish, maybe a little less. So anything small then that is dandy. I'm hoping 115. But we've all got dreams (98!) and i'll go from there. I am using a tape measure though. from last week i've lost half an inch on my waist and thighs. Now only if it was an all over thing.. I'm still feeling huge :( gah.. I think the smaller I get, the bigger I feel. Which is messed up..

I'll be heading in to the doctors in the next week or sooner, more pills. rather get ones that work. But i like these ones. I hate them with all I've got though.. I had the worse urge to purge last night.. I had that over full feeling and It all got too me.. and the fact they will be in my system for a week + after I stop taking em worries me more! I just want them out! but I know I should keep taking them.. I mean really, I've never been 41 Days Purge Free. Thats a huge thing.