yeah..

so.. funeral.. right. gah..

 I found naya after the service and it was like we were from different worlds. She was fine, not a cover up of being upset fine, she was really doing okay. I felt useless. we sat with her other two friends for the tea, and I felt replaced. the three were talking about the sleep over they had, and the plans for later that night. I was replaced and useless. I didn't know anyone else there and just stood around nodding to their conversation until we awkwardly hugged and I walked home. I realized that sure I've got people there for me. but its the kind of "there" that is a text message conversation. not the kinda "there" that comes over. I haven't seen a "Friend" in about two months. and even then it was a quick hi when i was at work.. 

gosh.. I feel pathetic..