Today?

It wasnt so bad after all. 

Dont get me wrong, I'm still terrified as all hell, but today. not so bad. I'm not sure things will start to look up, but  I dont see them getting any worse at the moment. I want to reach out, just to barely touch your arm, tell you with just a graze, that everything will really be okay. What right to I have, running around like a chicken with my head cut clean off? None. I have no right to worry you, any of you. And I'm so damn cross with my self that I have as of late. I feel it necessary, like I owe it to you, More Then A Simple Two Line Update. So here it is. The Inner Workings Of My Brain. I display them, to you, on the wall. Pop art of the 60's style. I'll start with the small, minor things, and work my way up to those most of you worry your selfs ragged over..

My mother and I? We really are getting along. No lies! I missed human interaction like this, you know.. Mother Daughter Love? Yeah.. That. I never thought that I would ever have parental love, but hearing my mother talk over lunch, about the past, her past. It sadens me greatly. More so, that I made all her hard work to keep us together fall so hard so fast. That I just wanted to waste that all and run away. Well I Did In The End.. But Thats Besides The Point.. 

Schooling Has Started To Finally Move Along. The doctor's appointment went well, and I was started on a trial dose of an ADD med. Its only been two days, but I can see the improvement. Just Crossing My Fingers It Lasts.. I hate being this so damn far behind.. I'm so freak'n stressed..  I had a nightmare the other night.. As Silly As It Sounds, It was about schooling sadly, My Course Load Was Twice The Amount And All My Teachers Were After Me.. It went on like that for a while, my stress was showing in my subconscious that I was more worried then I first thought..

Still No Job. And I Wish I Could Box My Ears For Being So Indecisive..

I've, with out warning, begun to SI again.. Wish I never did.. But I did, And That Is That.

The Purging Has Started Up Again, And All Those Tendencys Are Worse Then Ever.. I'd Rather Not Go Into Details..

I think thats everything covered.. If Not Leave A Comment And I'll Update.
Ah Blah.. I'm Going For A Walk..