Little Helpless Alice

Nothings worse then knowing someone you care very deeply about is in lonely and in pain.

Except for knowing they are lonely and in pain, and knowing you can't do a single thing.

Don't get me wrong, I'd like to believe I'm a very helpful person, that is always and ear to listen and tries her best to help a friend out of any situation. 

But the few situations i cant help with.. Are the ones I'm struggling with currently. Because i haven't found my way out of those boxes, and I've only just started trying. I feel useless because now, when I'm needed, I've got no advice, nothing to say.

They might think i don't even care..

But they are so very wrong.

I care so much that I'm up hours after I've said goodnight, just for that slight chance they message, needing me. Im trying to force myself to get through loneliness to help them.. To just even become a stronger person to lean on. 

But its not working. Im crumbling under the pressure I'm putting on myself.. I know because my joint pain is back with a vengeance, accompanying the bottle of wine and a half I'm  finishing almost every night.

I want to help you.. But I'm lonely too.

Little Alice, is so very lonely and helpless.

But she keeps trying.. Because she loves you, so very deeply.