115.2

I'm freaking out. 

I shouldn't of had pizza. I shouldn't have let him convince me it was okay. I should have purged the second I got home, right after the fight. I've binged on the chocolates I bought yesterday.. I want to purge so badly.. Why can't I be normal? Why can't I just be okay that I've had a hand full of chocolates?.. Why can't I be okay that even though I had rice and pizza yesterday, I still lost weight.. I can't get my head around it. I need to be empty, I need to be empty..