I'm not sure if the blue days are past me yet, I'm not sure if they have been replaced with a blur of grey, or its all in my head. Either way, I'm all medicated and over sleepy.
I started mah new meds yesterday, and along with more energy, and a lack of fear towards talking, my appetite was completely killed! And day one of my meal plan went over more better then I could have thought! I'm still having no luck at the whole "reinvent thy self" thing.. I wanna be done over, this time, happy with my self. I had spent some time each day going to the shops, trying on things, and foning over the things I wish I could have. I found I'm a large t-shirt size at stiches now, and a size seven there as well. Which is sad, but I know my size 4's and 5's still fit fine. And my mediums fit alright as well. I guess its just the fact that store is for teenagers.. then I think, wait, I'm 18!? Why can't I fit these clothes..? Why can't I look good in what I own? (This is where who ever has a good fashion sence stand up and makes them self known, and kindly offers to help send links to things I should get..)
Other then that, my face has been breaking out from stress over school, and thats no fun either. And as I just found out, its eating disorder awareness week. If your reading my blog and don't have a disorder, but you know someone who does, or notice some ones's eating is off, don't ignore it, they deserve help before they slip deep. many don't know what hole they fell in. I just wish you all the best this week. Things may be blue, But They Will Be Bright Soon.
"If your reading my blog and don't have a disorder, or you know someone who's eating is off, don't ignore it, they deserve help before they slip deep. I just wish you all the best this week. Things may be blue, But They Will Be Bright Soon."
ReplyDeleteI haven't talked to you in... too long.
I know you stopped going to the FHC.
I know you're taking meds that could make you seizure up if you purge.
I know you want a new wardrobe.
I know you're stressed about school.
I know.
I haven't ignored it.
YOU -do- deserve help.
I'm still here for you....
...but I don't know how to be anymore.
I sit here. And read your blog.
But what can I do?.... I can hug you. And do stuff with you. And we can hangout. And I can give you resources for help. And you can decline some of them. And accept some of them.
*Stops to look at rant*
.... I don't totally know where I'm going with this.....
I guess.. I just... don't know how to help you. I don't know how to be there for you? I don't know what to do.....
... and it makes me feel bad.
But this is your battle.
And if all you want is a cupcake and a hug.
Just one FB post is all it takes and I'll be there for you <3
I'm still there for you. Wishing you luck in your epic battle of food. I'm just.. sort of on the sidelines, cheering you on.
Good luck Cupcake.
You don't disappoint me. <3
I love you.
You know who I am...