I've Had It.

I can see myself going down hill.

it more then terrifies me. 

and i wont allow it to contiue. i know fighting with my ED will take more time. that i dont think i'll be able to be saved from for a long time. but i cant be like this. i just cant. i see what its doing to thoes around me. and it pains me so much more. i cant have it. i wont. i've got to make a stand to turn this all around. cause if i dont, no one can. i'm sorry to thoes that have tried so hard to help me, and seen no resalt. i tell you now, seeing how you all cared, worried, and expressed you love really did bring me to realise how bad it had become. i know this wont be easy for i let it go on too long. but i need to take the frist steps. and i will. i'm too yonge to trow my life away like i have. ive got to try to make the best of it. and thats what i plan to do. i will wake up and take on what the day trows at me. i will find reasons to be happy for life in the moment. i'll be back to me soon. but it'll be hard. and i'll still need your help on the days when its even more hard. but with the support of my friends, i know i can do this.

This is step one.