I'm not sure what I'm doing, I know I'm taking the lead, but I feel as if I'm on auto pilot. Too busy all the time, but when I'm not busy, I'm making excuses to avoid people.
Got a job offer, if all goes well I won't be at chevron any more. And it looks like I was right, I won't be going to school. That really makes me sad, ill be disappointing a lot of people that are rooting for me..
As for the open relationship, it's closed again. But I can stop thinking about girls.. and how I so badly want to fool around with them, but I know I shouldn't. I was the one that closed it again I can't open it again like this, I don't wanna toy with this situation , it wouldn't be right. So tempted to just dress up and go to the club and just flirt, I just want some female attention, want to be hit on from hot girls that I'd never ever have to nerve to chase.
What's wrong with me?
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