Giving in to the fact my sex drive is non-excitant.
I'm not broken (though it could be the meds)
I'm okay really (never liked sex)
I'm sure things are okay (Mike doesn't ask for anything anyways)
Haven't I always felt this way?
Honestly, I can't recall. I know as far as I can think back, I've never instigated sex. Kissing, yes. Mutual masterbation? Quite a few times. Mostly just cuddles, and playing with their hair. Soft kisses. Being held. I've enjoyed sex, though it mostly becomes enjoyable half way through and I'll get turned on. The other times, I'm just waiting for it all to be overed. So I can cuddle.
Not that I don't enjoy the closeness, the sweaty bodies in motion, coming together, feeling one.
But I can have that without sex. I truly prefer it without sex.
Though it's not worrisome on my behalf, I'm content like this.
However it seems, EVERYONE ELSE ON THE PLANET, likes sex. A lot.
I'm happy to pretend though, I know it would only hurt others more if I didn't.
Sexual attraction seems very important.
But what do I know about courtship?
Putting yourself first is okay.
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