True Test?

Weekend Warrior. 

Caffeine fueled with my fill of diet pills.
I WILL NOT come home above 120.0

I'm finally on my way back down, I'm in control and I will be 115 by my next orthodontist appointment.
(The 19th)


I've got 5 lbs left, And I Will Not Let One Night Away Muck That Up. 


I know all that I've gotta know to get through this.
 *Deep Breath*

120.0

down 4.7 lbs. I'm worried about this weekend. I just want to sleep. maybe I'll nap again today? I dunno..
I'm so hungry.




----------------------**Update**----------------------


I had another short nap, still feeling like crap though.. I caved and had a slice of bread (70) with some peanut butter (90) and barely half an apple (55). Just had two slimquick pills, which I\m hoping gets me through the night, and I'm bringing more along. I'm not too bad on the calories today, but I can do better.

Veganism

Bringing German Sarah And I That Much More Alike.

Member when I went vegan? Yeah. I'm taking another stab at it.
I was talking with yannic last night, about my eating as of late, and he pointed something out, I was much more careful with my eating as a vegetarian or vegan, and well, he is right. I'm going to be tracking my calories again as well, no, not as hard core as I was, but just a guesstamit, no messurging things, just an eye ball figure.

or maybe not. I enjoy the diet pills, durexs and laxivtes like forever ago. maybe, if need be, purging..

started at 124.7.. yesterday, 123.8, this morning, 122.2. not too bad if i say so my self. (thats a 2.5 lb loss.. just saying.)

OH! and the ED book I ordered from coles has arrived! HUZZAH! now just got to wait till I can read it.. ho hum.

Okay, To Be Honset

I've been lacking on the posting. NO EXCUSES! I know this blogging deal is soley for my benifits, and what ever ( if any) comments I get are a nice reminder I'm not really as crazy as I think.

(30 minute gap.. In which I got lost in Weird Al videos..)

*Ahem..* Any whom, I'm about to tweet Snookie.. Ask (plead) her to give me tips and tricks.. is that wrong? she's getting tiny! and well.. I'd love to hear from her! ah blah.. OKAY. Off to the drawing board! I NEED to kick my ass in gear! GYM RUNNING THIN THIN THIN. And well I need this. My work out and work time will be NUMBER ONE! Then everything else. I'll lose my self like before, I want it, Trigger Me Happy.
YES that means two meals, maybe one. NOTHING MORE.
YES that means diet pills, Caffeine Pills.
YES, running, moving everyday.

the scale will be god. end of story.

Two&A1/2Men

But with out the drugs.

I'm all over the place again, more anti social and fearing my job is on the line, even though I've been picking up everything and really trying my best. I want to be thin. I want to love myself. I want. I want. I need.

Vodka And Bus Rides

I want to tell her.. Tell her everything. Let it loose. See where is runs to.

Why can't I.. ? She's my best friend..

One Track Mind

PURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurgePURGEpurge

help me

Now, I'm not too sure if I've gone over this with this blog or not, but here is the info. (from WIKI of course)

Awareness ribbons

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Awareness ribbons, due to their ubiquitous nature, have come to symbolize various concerns depending on the colours or the patterns used. For example, black ribbons may be used for mourning.

Yellow ribbons, in the United States, are used to show that a close family member is abroad in military service. In Russia, Belarus and other countries of the former USSR gold and black striped ribbons are used to celebrate the Allies' victory in World War II (9 May).

Of the uses of ribbons to draw awareness to health issues, perhaps the most well-known is the red ribbon for support of those with acquired immunodeficiency syndrome(AIDS). Other health and social concerns which have adopted coloured ribbons include Alzheimer's disease (purple), Breast Cancer (pink), bipolar disorder (green), and brain disorder or disability (silver).

Political use of ribbons include red ribbons worn to commemorate the October Revolution (7 November) in the former Soviet Union, and orange ribbons in the Orange Revolutionin Ukraine.

Other ornaments, including flowers (of specific kinds), bracelets and badges may serve essentially the same purpose of drawing attention to a cause. These include poppies,rosettes and wristbands.

See also

• List of awareness ribbons

Wrighting A Book,

Make It A Sci-Fy!

I'm thinking of turning over to Kilo in stead of Pounds. Smaller number I guess?
But on an unrelated note, if I reach 120.3 I'm at 22.0 BMI.. Not sure thats good. or not. I'm craving 20.0 BMI(109.3lbs) .. or 19.9 (108.9lbs)..

122.2

I'm done. Finally! Done! Ah, what a feeling!
After a horrid last shift, I planned on just going to the liquor store and drinking my depression away. But well, life has another plan I guess. I just wanna drink all this stress and worry away. Long Necks Down, eh?

So, with having my braces tighten'd and all, smoothies ahoy. Which isn't all that bad, I mean I've been losing weight, and well, I'm HUNGRY! GRRR! But I love it. I missed this hunger. I miss the growl, the faint and dizziness. Is that bad? I guess so.. But I like it.

Vegan?

I think I should give it another go?
I've got a ton of tofu noodles and such so when I go through that, VEGAN AHOY!
I mean, I need to loose this weight. I REALLY do.

Fuck. I'm Huge.

To Be (Completely) Honest..

I'm getting mean.. I just razzed a poor girl on facebook..
She had a profile photo of a tiny tummy side view, and I commented just a tad nasty, thinking nothing more of it then self satisfaction, then it went futher..  Gah I'm horrid. Just to make myself feel better.

Then again..
Maybe thats just whats she needs.

Om nom nom?!

After Bite.

Got back from the camping trip and GOODNESS ME covered in bug bites!
*ichy ichy...*

Anywho.. I'm broke. Broke JOKE! yeah.. I regret jummping the gun with ya know.. quiting and ALL THAT! Now its all sorta hitting me like a HUGE brick wall.. I'm jobless come the 9th, and I've nothing lined up.. I've fixed up my resume and all that, and I've got a a few places to drop it off at.. but still.. the stress is still there.

I'm feeling restless. Body image is all over the place once again, and my food intake is well I havn't a clue. Yeah, its that bad. I'm trying to do good, but I don't know whats good any more I guess.. ah blah this post is depressing.

Mkay, well I've gotta go, upped dose of mah zoloft is waiting for me. Then bottom braces tomorrow :(