Im lonely..

Bonbon? Your Lyra is here..

Marceline..? Im lonely.. 

So Its 1 AM.

And I'm home drunk.

I should be at her house.. cuddled close and warm. But I'm here, drinking, sad, and mad.. I dunno.. So I have any reason to be mad? Sure I guess.. But I'm tore, cause I really wanted this, we had a great setup and everything was worked out.. but she doesn't wanna see me. And before its over.

I'm sad.

Will I meet my BonBon?

Hello There..

Its been a while, too long in fact, since I've felt your soft skin pressed against mine..

Its been a while, a few months or so since we spoke, the last time being when I was avoiding you.. I feel bad about that now.. but you had a girl friend, I didn't want to be in the way of that. I wanted you to find happiness and love, the latter being something I knew I couldn't give you. But you're away right now, all the way in Montreal, your operation went smoothly and your on your way to recovery. 

You sent me a message yesterday, and a few short hours later we became "cuddle buddies"

I'll finally have my first experiences with a girl.. I'm so nervous, yet so excited..

I know we have done it before, but it's different this time round.. it will be your first time aswell..
With a girl, finally completely as a girl. 

Are you nervous too?

Twitchy Wings

Maybe Its the Alcohol..

Maybe its the lack of sleep.


But I Think These Feeling Are Wrong..
Am I Even Allowed To Have Them..


I was spose to find a girl..
I want a girl.. I want her soft skin against mine..
But your not that.. Its not a bad thing..
But you've brought out the worst in me.

I purged. I'll say it again. I purged after however many months with out it.
I want it, thin-ness, It's what I'm craving..

No, thats a lie. I want the control.. Because thats what I lack right now.

Your so far away, I want you to understand..

I'm broken sure, but I'm healing see?

No its not on the surface.. but its there.. I'm trying hard but its not good enough.

Then again.. why has it ever been?