You Try And Try,

The Only Difference Is, I Cant Move.

These Last Few Weeks Have Been Hell.
over 3000 cals per day.. for the last 3 weeks.
i dont like how things are going. and i cant stop.
ive forgotten what its like to be happy.
ive begun to spiral down and down.

and i'm not liking the looks of this at all.
i say "tomorrow, there is always tomorrow."
but i've never stopped to think of how all the yesterdays seem to add up.
and well..man have they added up.

i can say i'm starting now.
i could just as easily have said this is day 6 of a fast.
its all lies.

and i really dont think i can deal with this.

sure they'll put me on antidepressants.

and they'll make me talk
and talk
and talk

but when the door closes,
the cupboards will be bare.

end it all now. please.