Midterms And Moving

Black Mold and Conventions. 

Its been just over a month since my last post. In that time I've written three post, which ended unfinished as drafts.. So much happens daily that I'm unsure where to even begin, so nothing gets written. 

Lets just start with the title then shall we? (Which is the only time over the course of this blog that I've ever been that direct.. it feels weird) 

Midterms.. I'm finishing my second month of schooling, and things are starting to pile up. Lots and lots of homework! But I'm really loving it. After wanting this for so long.. I'm finally here. I did have a few points at the start when I truly doubted myself. Thinking that this was no where near my field or capabilities.. Which ended with me crying at a bus stop and ready to drop out of my program. I'm glad I made it past that point. I do however still think this isn't my field, but this is education that is mandatory to further my career in print. 

Moving.. Yes, again. Seems that is my talent~ This time I hope is the last time till I'm done schooling though. The mold that was in my room mates room is found in the hallway as well. And I'm having intense chest pains.. On top of that, I'm ready to get away from my room mate. He is a nice guy, but not room mate type of person.. So like my style, I decided to move. With a week left in a month to pack, clean, and find a place. And just like my talent, I found a place with great people, that is clean and a bit more then I pay now, but still affordable. Sure its a tad far away, but I'm fine with it. more so cause I get a loft bed :-3 Gonna make so many forts!

Conventions.. EverFree Nothwest is coming up.. In a months time. Sure it seems like there is time, but with the growing list of things to, I'm doubting that it will go smoothly.. There is the tickets to buy, the train to book, the hotel to find, and my cosplay to finish. Seems like a short list sure.. But I doubt my ability to get everything done.. On top of my budget.. With this move I'll be in the hole, plus the convention and cosplay costs.. Then right after that the week I need to take off to go to this, and the convention in August right after this. I'm getting a little overwhelmed.. But I simply can't do what I normally do in these situations.. Back out. That's not an option. Not that I truely wish to, don't get me wrong. Thats just what I resort to doing.. And what I've been doing to every invitation as of late. No bowling, no fireworks, no movies, no mtg.. The friends I thought I was making, I'm loosing.. I hate social anxiety.. 

I miss naya. 

We talk more now, and its really great. But I know she is having some issues with Kayla, and is feeling lonely/with out friends. I wish I had regular schooling, With set days off in a row so I could go visit her.. I was going to see her on my break, but I'm not sure that will happen now.. I know she will be disappointed.. Even more so cause the next time I get to see her is at our con, which I'll be in school most of the time for any ways. I really don't want to disappoint her.. That's one of my deepest fears. It all goes back to her mothers death, I wasn't there, and I couldn't offer her anything. I disappointed her, even if she doesn't think of it like that, I know that's how it is.. I wasn't the friend she needed me to be. So I want nothing more then to be everything she needs now. And I can't do that. I miss her so much..