I Know Your There.

I Know You Read These Words... 

But I Crave The Feed Back. I was terrified to reopen my blog, only cause I knew you'd see the words that pour out of me. Words that I carelessly trow out in to cyber-space for complete strangers to view. It just gets so damn hard some days. I want so much to be everything to you. I want to show you, to prove to you that I'm not stupid, I'm not wasting my life. I crave to be out there, to attend art school, make something of my self. I crave to see a look of approval. To earn a hardy well-done. I know its time for me to grow up. Its been a while since I've taken responsibility for my actions. For my faults. Just Wish So Badly When I Tell You I Love You, You'd Listen. Its more then just a repeated phrase. It means I'm yours. It means that I trust you with everything, even though I know I don't deserve it in return. It means, I'm So Damn Sorry, And That I Always Will Be. It means, For All The Times, All The Little Things, I Lie, Its So You Think I'm Okay. I'm really not. But that's for another post.

Contains Aspertain.

I'm Going To Make My Video Blog, In To A Tidbit Blog, Chopped Full Of Little Useful Things That Will Enlighten You To Switch Out Your Food Choices For Much Healthier Ones.

Would You Be Impressed?

Smile,

Its The End Of The World.

" A tournament,
tournament, a tournament of lies.  Offer me  solutions,
offer me alternatives and I decline."

This Is..

A Story Of A Girl.

It Goes, Just So:

Leg Gap?

YourDoingItRight

It all just hit the floor, all that happiness sucked from me with just a comment. I was leaving the mall, shopping bag full of low cal veggies and a coke zero in my hand, I was practically bouncing as I walked. Big mistake. These two girls, maybe my age, maybe a year older. One with a child, and both in ridiculously skin tight dresses and heels. Looked me up and down, eyes pricing, just looking for a fight. I lower my head, and walk slower past. Praying they just leave me be. "Pft, She'll Need More The A Diet Soda To Lose All That Weight. Why Dose She Even Bother." The other scoffs and replies "I'm Just Surprised They Make Pants That Big."... I swore I was about to be sick. I wanted nothing more then to scream back at them, "I've Only Had 200 Calories Today! And For The Past Month I've Never Ventured Above 600! I'm At My Lowest Weight! I Bet The Neither Of You Have Ever Seen The Scale Read 119! You Don't Know What Your Talking About!" I wanted to swear.. To curse their names.. To Punch That Damn Baby..

"Its So Cute

How Rambunctious You Are."

 

A Little Bit Of

This, & That.

It was another sleepless night. As cliche as  that sounds, its true. Up thinking of all the words he screamed at me, via type, it screams the loudest. I kept repeating that one line, till the end of time it will always get at me. "No one is going to wait for you Sara, no ones going to put there life on hold so you can keep up." And, With Out A Doubt, He Is Right. (Never thought I'd say that..) I've got to simply stop complaining, My life isn't ever as bad as I'd like to think it is. I've dropped all hopes of EVER going/getting in to Vancouver Film School, but its beyond wrong for me to just trow away every hope for me to go to The Art Institutes. I mean really.. I've already been accepted, I just need to suck up the fact the Ministry is a bunch of lying sacks of dirt and apply for loans. Yannic Is Right As Well, Its Four Months Max Of Schooling. That much is do able. Just Gotta Sit There And Get Er' Done. On the other hand, I think Kim and me are slipping, rather.. Me and EVERYONE is slipping away.  No matter how many times I try and tell myself I dont even like people, Its never all that true. I miss phone calls to come and play, miss sleep overs, and junk food, and being careless, laughing and hugging, being close, and telling them just whats on my mind. Now That I Think About It. It Was Never That Way. This is the turning point, when Ana and Mia became my closest friends, and I need to figure out weather to keep pushing everything and everyone away, or keep Ana and Mia close and only mine. It all comes done to how hard I'm willing to try. And trying has never been something I've been good at. Not when I Know So Much Hurt Is Involved.