Prince..

Wish I Was There To Hear Those Words Whispered..

Never Forget Me..Please..

Dreams

He was there, smile; soft but loving, he had someone is his arms.
She was laying close and covered with a thin sheet.
He sighed and pulled her closer.
Wispered "My Only, My One."
She asked if this was true,
His thoughts trailed to another, mere memories of shards of glass.
"Yes my love, your the only for me."

My dreams are plaged of him with this other.. She is perfect for him in everyway, and makes him happier then I ever could. My heart dropps and I feel ill every time my thoughts trail there. I know I walked away.. I know it could have been me in his arms, I know I'll love him even when she is in that sara sized spot.. Dosent mean it wont hurt. He is off, plans of parties. I know he'll end up with some one.. And I just cant stand it.. Wish it was me.. Wish he was wispering those things to me.. Wish he never got on that damn bus..

Wish he'd believe these words..
But I doubt he will.

Wearing New York New York,:

Mum and I had a little bonding time that came outta no where last night.
It was nice to be honest, I missed when we got along.
I was cooking and she was off looking for something, and I Brought up her old jewelry case, and how I simply adored going through it.

We sat there for two hours, and I asked her everything that popped into my head. It was like I was eight again, and everything she did was a wonderful adventure to me.

She gave me a heart pendant that was given to her by grandma on her eighteenth. And was meant for me then to. I have her old engagement ring from peter to.

My mind keeps wondering back to what life would have been if mother never had that abortion, I'd have a brother, Mark. He'd be 20 something, give for take a year. She'd be married to peter, I'd have a real father. I'd have a real family. I'd have been completely different. And no matter how much that scares me, I wish for it so badly.

As I twirl her new york jewelry on my wrist, and think of my life that could have been, I know I'd rather it the way it is now. Its less scary this way.

To Be Honset,

 ..I Miss Him.
Been Wearing His Shirt To Bed On The Nights I Sleep Alone.
Still smells of him, and I wish itd stay that way, but I know the seant will fade. Along with his thoughts of me.
I bet he had already forgotten me.
Bet He Has Another Laying Next To Him.
Holding Back Tears In The Libray Typing This Out, But I Donno.. Its All Been Building Up In My Head..
Waking up alone and scared, upset from images in my dreams I wish I never thought up.
But I guess I'll be okay..
Cant wear his pendant right now.. Cant bare looking at it..
Everything starts to become too over whelming and my heart sinks..

I'm feeling the stress.

Seems like no matter where I head to its like the stress, the constant pounding, is always there.
Its like I know I've fucked up, and it just repeats its self over and over.
I wish I could talk it all out.
Wish I could make some sence of it all.
But The Only One That'd Listen,
 The Only One That Would Remotely Understand,
Walked Away..

I Wont Forget You, Your Pendant I Wear.

The midnight's sky the blanket of stars
your gazing eyes, jewels from afar.
The howling wind, its eerie cry.
whispering softly, it'll all be fine
A beat of the heart, the flutter of leaves
so surreal could it truly be, more than a dream
that keeps calling to me.
I surrender my love
to the Goddess that be. undying loyalty, a warrior for the.
a protector, a saviour, a bringer of peace,
a quieted rage finally Deceased
for shes released the best in me
to fight for the better,
to be rid of the burdens that hindered the way.
a life in debt for the ease of pain
a vow to her. and nothing more
For as long as you love me i'm forever yours.

What Happened To Forever?

It Wasnt That Long Ago.

Walk As Far As You Can,

Be As Angry As You Wish. It Wont Change A Thing.

I love him far too much to walk away from him. He is my everything. And I'd give anything to take back the time I lost with him.