My Dear PT

One Step At A Time.

Dear body,

Dear body,
I hate you and have always hated you. I'm ashamed to own you and no matter what I do, you'll never look good. You're fat and I hate it.
Dear body,
I'm sorry that I hurt you all the time. I'm sorry that I allow you to become sick all the time because I don't want to feed you. I'm sorry that I haven't taken you out to exercise or run or play in six years because I'm ashamed of you. I'm sorry that I don't take care of you and I feel the need to escape you or shrink you down to nothing. I'm sorry that I starve and dehydrate you and every time that I attempt to nourish you, I squeeze your stomach and pinch your thighs until I throw it up. You haven't given up on me, yet I keep punishing you for keeping me alive. I'm sorry.
-Me

On My Mind?

How I miss just getting up when I'm feeling peckish. How I could grab what ever in the cubured and Nom away guilt free.

Oh how times have changed.

Seep For 2-5 Mintues, Enjoy.

123. 1-2-3.
over and over. and its driving me mad.
I was D-D-droping. each day .5-.8
now i'm stuck. nothing over nothing under.
just 123lbs.
i'm freaking this is all i'll ever be.

but i cant stop now

not going to happen

[X]130
[X]125
[X]120
[_]110
[_]98
[_]95

Dear Hacker.

May Your Soul Rest In The Deepest Pit Of Hell. 
Etc.

To whom ever you may be, I hope you realize my world came crashing down the moment Google sent me the notice of email change message. I hope your lucky Google never really deletes anything and that I was able to recover my blog. And that even though I poured my heart and soul in to the writing you so carelessly abused and discarded, it dose not make it any more okay I wish the utmost painful death upon you. Feel My Heart Ache As Guilt Falls Down Heavy On You. May you never find happiness, and when you do, may that as well fall as a heavy burden on your shoulders.

Oh And One Last Thing,
Fuck You.

One Two Three :

And She's All Grown Up.

Seems I've finally hit nineteen, yes I know I'm still eighteen but I feel everything's coming together. Its all in my control. Making friends slowly, sure they are outta my continent.. but friends nonetheless. My schooling will come together soon, and the ministry will be fallow suit. For now, I sit and smile, sit and enjoy. Sure the thoughts plague me when I'm alone. But its just best to push past them. Nothing will ever be the same and I'm confident that I never want it to be. No matter what my dreams say.

She's All That,

And A Diet Coke...

Back On Track, Back In Control.

This Is Just How It Should Be

Pounds Are Dropping, And Lifes Getting Brighter.

The One Year Mark Is Less Then A Week Away.
I'm Hoping Play Land Passes And 102 Reasons Will Do.

Might Even Have A Hook Up For E Soon.

Just One Night Of A Good Trip Is All I'm Asking.
Maybe I'll Find Some ADD Meds While I'm At It.
Then Nothing Can Stop Me.

"Once In A Life Time."

"Everybody's Looking For What We've Found."